Ibogaine Testimonial Debby

Ibogaine Testimonial Debby

Hello I am very sorry for not writing you earlier. I have spent the last year completely re-evaluating my whole life. When I came to you for help, I just wanted to get from Methadone. The next thing I know, I have forgiven myself for mistakes of my past. My obsession with my faults, my guilt, and everything self-conscious has  gone. It was not sudden. It was a gradual change in my whole outlook on life. What I used to think was important, is no longer, and the things I used to overlook are now what makes me happy. I have a sense of… I can only call it natural, real happiness. I am not always walking around with a silly clown smile, but sometimes I do. I laugh a lot. Furthermore, I feel that the future is going to be alright. And I don’t obsess with things out of mine control. Iboga was not an instant fix. It was something that I had to work with. How can I say this right? The iboga did not work, the Iboga and I worked together. I had a lot of responsibly, and choices, and I could have made the bad choices, but iboga was somewhere in the back of my mind, reminding me to be stronger. It is a miracle non-the-less. It gave me the choice. Furthermore, it did not do all the work for me, but it has been like an angel on mine shoulders, reminding me that I have power inside, and hope is very alive. I stayed clean from heroin for about 8 months after the treatment. I slipped up and started using again, but everything I thought I loved about heroin just is gone. I am completely convinced that the spirit of iboga was with me, inside my head, helping me. I believe I had to relapse, just to see. Furthermore, I think it was all part of the plan for me. I stopped the heroin after only one month, cold turkey. But here is the strange thing… I was only sick for a couple of days, and not the month-long ordeal that I had before. My body recuperated quickly. Within a week, I was exercising, and for some reason I wanted to push my body. I think I was entering another phase of my healing. And after I stopped using (only one month of relapse), I had no desire to return to it. I have been trying to explain it to myself, and understand it. I don’t have any dreams about using, I never think about it, and I am motivated to make really positive changes in my life. I have not used, or even thought about using for the last 3 months. Furthermore, I feel strong, I lost all the Methadone weight I was carrying around. I am 30lbs lighter! I have real relationships with people. Furthermore, I feel much smarter, my head is clear. I just wanted to get off the Methadone as quickly as possible… and now I can see that the benefit I gained from the spirit is something completely unexpected. I am thankful for being clean, but I see it as a side effect. The real effect that Iboga has done to me is that I am confident, I am sure of what I am, and I don’t dwell on negativity. I am ALIVE. I am emotionally stable. For the first time since I was a child, I am not afraid of what people think about the way I look, the way I talk, or the way I am. Because it is ME, and I like me. Also, I like people. I believe people are generally good. I am having a hard time putting this all in the words. Furthermore, I believe you understand what has happened to me. I have my life back. My emotion, good or bad, is real, and I am healthy. My body is strong like when I was 19! I swim 1 kilometer every day. I used to think that people liked me because the heroin made me emotionally stable, brave, or even attractive. But it got just all inside of me, and I never believed it. From my whole heart, THANK YOU. I love you, and I will never forget what you have done for me. I wish I could put it all into words. Even a year later, I am still working to understand the spirit, and the visions. I told you I was going to make a video, but I am so worried that I can’t get the true message across. I want to paint a picture that only Leonardo Di Vince could. Iboga, and what it has done for me, deserves it. And I am still learning from myself all it has done. Honestly, I don’t know where to start. At the least once a week I do something, or something happens, and I realize that my response is not like it would have been. I have changed. I am healthy, and I have control, and I feel… alive. I hope, after I finish school, that I can return to Holland to see you. Furthermore, I may need to see the spirit again, but not until I better understand what the spirit has given me so far. Thank you. You have given me hope. I have been reborn. Tell the kids I say hello. I hope they are doing well.